For When I Forget…

I am writing this tonight for me, for when I forget the things that are important, and for when I forget the things that I, right now, know and hold dear. I far too often chase my emotions. I am a slave to them, bound up in their chains that scream the lies of the alleged freedom they offer to me.

This is for when I forget that there is a God.

This is for when I forget that there is a God, and that I am not Him.

This is for when I forget that God is good.

This is for when I forget to think about the struggles of others and become enraptured with myself, entangled within the snares of my own self absorption.

This is for when I forget remember that every person I meet is fighting a great battle, just as I am.

This is for when I forget that God is the Ruler of all and the Master of my life.

This is for when I forget to trust in God, and am instead unnecessarily concerned with my future.

This is for when I forget to always live in the now, the present moment, the time that God has given me.

This is for when I forget that God works in mysterious ways, and that I don’t need to have everything planned out, and that He will lead me to where I need to be.

This is for when I forget that God will give me everything I need for my salvation.

This is for when I forget that I am loved by God, and that the love of my family and friends attests to His love.

This is for when I forget that, despite how broken we are, God is merciful.

This is for when I forget that the closer I am to God and the Church, the harder the demons attack.

This is for when I forget that I am seeking Christ and His Church.

This is for when I forget that happiness is not what life is about.

This is for when I forget that God loves me, and all of us.

This is for when I forget that I love God.

Remember, Justin, tonight, this night: Thursday, January 15, 2009. You were 17, a senior in high school, and rode with Jonathan and Jerusa up to Fr. Justin and Mother Jodi’s house for dinner and fellowship. You were in OCF, the Orthodox Christian Fellowship, remember? You arrived at about 6:45 and had decided to give up on God and His Church, but wanted to go see your friends. You ate some great BBQ and fell in love with Fr. Justin and Mother Jodi’s dog, who is quite large. There was singing and merriment and games. Laughter and smiles were plentiful. It brought you out of your depression, remember?

And do you recall, Justin, that it was getting late when Mother Jodi initiated discussion with questions? “What is something you will not do this new year, and what is a goal for this year?” and “What is a high and low from this past year?” Your answer to the first question was: “My goal for this year is to develop a spiritual life beyond going to church at the appointed times. I want to have a prayer life at home, and read Scripture. This year I want to stop being so preoccupied with the future.” To the second question: “My highest point this past year was the day I became a catechumen. The lowest point has been about 85% 0f the time since then.” Your other friends answered. There were tears, comfort, hugs. Wisdom. Do you remember the distinct presence of God that you felt? You had many realizations that night that had been built up by God by past events. Do not also forget the peace that descended upon you afterwards.

When I forget all of these things, I will remember this night. I will come back here and read this, and be reminded of God’s love and of all the things I so often forget. I have friends that love me, family that care for me, food, a roof over my head, and so much more. I will come back here and remember this night, and remember to count my blessings, and remember that suffering is not bad.

When I forget, I will have this to help me remember what, Who, it is that I need to remember: God.